made me smile anyway

[37coop]

just a small thing that made me chuckle that I read on the barn....I have an irritating friend that uses the old (boring)phrase...you cant polish a turd ...I have never been able to return with a clever reply till I read ..no but you can roll it in glitter...the first time I replied with this he must have thought I was a wordsmith and of course I wouldn't own up to not "inventing " it , any one else tickled by a sentence from the barn?....cheers jim.

 

[Catbob]

Merry Christmas Coop, I just got the tears to stop after the visual of the " glitter roll" . One of my co workers painted his truck the ugliest black and pea green ever and our new moto for it is " You can put a dress on a mule, but she's still ugly! Thanks for the chuckle.......Bob

 

[harley]

Coop, "glitter roll" is one of the best, Every time I see my brother-in-law I think of it.

 

[alan]

you can chrome plate a turd,but it is still a turd

 

[Pete]

The funniest one I have seen lately is the "signature" a guy on the HAMB uses.

"Screw with your neighbors...name your Wi-Fi network "NSA Surveillance Van #6"..."

 

[Mark Slight]

And "You can't pour perfume on a pig" !

Love the one about the glitter.

Mark

 

[Bruce in southern OH]

"You can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear"
"Car is rougher than 10cent whiskey"

 

[Shadetree]

"That car is rougher than a night in a Mexican Jail."

 

[big deuce]

http://www.jalopyjournal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=534642

You cant be talking about this guy

 

[BLACKNRED]

That's like turning dog **** into strawberry jam

 

[cuzncletus]

"Don't know baby **** from apple butter."

"Turnin' a dog turd into a diamond tiara."

"Putting a smiley face on a turd and calling it a happy meal."

 

[Ross F-1]

He could fall in a bucket of **** and come up sucking his thumb

 

[Ken/Alabama]

Like putting a wristwatch on a pig!

 

[swoopNZ]

You can't make chicken soup out of chicken sh*t

 

[larry butcher]

STOP IT! STOP IT ! STOP IT! I'am laughing so hard , the tears are
falling on the keyboard of my laptop and now it's acting crazy ! Larry

 

[prpmmp]

Trying to install a trans under the car!You guys look like three monkeys f***king a football!! Or, If I wanted any s**t from you I'd squeeze your head!! Pete

 

[raceron1120]

I can remember many years ago, my dad when he caught somebody that didn't know the answer to a question or whatever, he'd say
"... that guy didn't know whether to sh** or go blind..."
I never did get that one!

A coupla other oldies he used to use:
when he thought somebody was a cheapskate: "...he's tighter than Dick's hatband"

An old friend: "...I've known him since Hector was a pup..."

 

[Joe AZ]

My old boss used to say, "he wouldn't know how to pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel." Always loved that one!
Joe

 

[Mtn Wudy]

"Why,,,he don't know $hit from Shinola.....If ya don't believe it,look at his shoes....!

 

[Lawson Cox]

I've used the last 3 many times.