OK, I was finally able to find someone to mill my head to my specifications. I went to five shops who either said they couldn't do it, or wanted an exorbitant amount. I finally found a retired guy running a shop in his backyard (ain't that always the way) who said "No problem". I got the head back and started working with it today. All of the measuring and checking I did before having it worked on paid off, because the results were better than I would have expected. I installed the head with a used gasket and put foil balls on the valves and on the pistons. I only put 3 balls on each piston (at 3, 6, and 9 o'clock) because this was a preliminary check. The first thing I found is that I have plenty of clearance over the valves, so there is no problem there. Next I checked the balls on the pistons. They were remarkably consistent for each cylinder, and the averages per cylinder were quite close. I could bore you with the details, but for brevity, here are the average clearance by cylinder :
#5 - .046
#6 - .050
#7 - .050
#8 - .052
This is about where I like to start when fitting heads to an engine. I will now remove the gaskets, bolt the heads back on, and use the "grease method" (I got from "CharlieNY") to finalize the chambers. Given the numbers I have, I don't think I'll have to remove over .005 of material from any area. It's always a tedious job, but the results are worth it.
In the final analysis, I believe that this was the proper way to solve this problem. Tearing the whole engine down and decking the block even more did not appeal to me. I will end up with good squish and consistent combustion chamber volume. Also, I am now sure that the head bolts are parallel with the bolt holes in the head. How I determined this is a little beyond the scope of this post. Anyone who wants the details can PM me.
In the final analysis, I am completely satisfied with the results of the process and I am sure I will end up with a fine running engine.