I thought the point of "steam oil" was that it resisted being washed off by hot water, making it ideal to lubricate cylinders in steam engines.
Anyway, I have an Argo Graphite oil story. Back when I was in college I had a Suzuki motorcycle. I had heard good things about graphite oil so i decided to give it a try. Unfortunately, the graphite coated the glass oil level sight window on the crankcase and made it opaque. So I drained it out again and replaced it with regular oil, and in doing so knocked over the container of the graphite oil and ended up with a black stain on the concrete garage floor.