10 jokes only engineers will understand

My grandfather was a foreman for a structural steel contractor during the 1920's through 1950's. He worked on bridges - the Golden Gate for one - and dams - the Grand Coulee for another. He had a slide rule, a handbook of engineering tables, and a sixth grade education. His employer regarded him as an engineer. That just wouldn't happen nowadays.
 
Art Bjornestad said:
Does anyone (EE's) have a copy of the story about smoke in wires?
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A google search, & Wikipedia, lead to some informative stuff on letting the smoke out - mostly to do with IC's & other circuit items. There is even a 'smoke recharge kit', and a kit for those with Lucas wiring that have let the smoke out. :)
 
bobH said:
A google search, & Wikipedia, lead to some informative stuff on letting the smoke out - mostly to do with IC's & other circuit items. There is even a 'smoke recharge kit', and a kit for those with Lucas wiring that have let the smoke out. :)
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You mean this? DD

181162
 
I gave my Post Versalog to my grandson. He doesn't understand it but if he has the occasion he might show his friends. Ought to be good for a laugh for them.

I can still do drawings with a T-square, triangles and paper and Yes, I did understand the jokes.
 
ursus said:
My grandfather was a foreman for a structural steel contractor during the 1920's through 1950's. He worked on bridges - the Golden Gate for one - and dams - the Grand Coulee for another. He had a slide rule, a handbook of engineering tables, and a sixth grade education. His employer regarded him as an engineer. That just wouldn't happen nowadays.
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Not in the Civil Engineering world due to the PE, Professional Engineering and license. but in the Software Engineering world , I've worked with many self taught folks...
 
1930 coupe said:
Are you trying to tell me it is time to upgrade? Only one more payment and it is all mine. :)
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I have 2 more payments and the only difference a pic of my desk would show is no calculators and the addition of a Morse telegraph sounder.
 
I can really relate to number 4 on the list. My wife is a mechanical PE doing defense work and I am a civil PE that does highway, waterway and structural design....pretty much all targets.
 
I was hired to run water and a drain line to a test machine for rebuilt heat exchangers for commercial aircraft. This young, new engineer had his slide rule out and was studying it intently and told me to run something like 65' of 3/4" galvanized pipe through the bar joists above and then continue the remaining distance with 3/4" PVC plastic tube and discharge the drain into a stainless steel tank they used for anodizing aluminum. This length he surmised would dissipate the high heat from the discharge of the test module to the atmosphere and still have heat in the discharge for the effluent to be used in the anodizing process. Smart huh?
Well since our 3/4" galvanized pipe comes in 21' lengths, I didn't want to cut a new joint up for a two foot piece, so I installed all 4 joints of galvanized and then the last bit with 3/4" PVC.
Well when the time came to turn on the equipment it sounded like a jet engine and the engineer was watching the gauges and pressures on the machine and I stepped into the following rooms to check my discharge pipe for leaks.
The bar joists were maybe 8 to 10' apart and when I got to the PVC section I could see the PVC start to sag at the first foot of pipe. I ran back to the dude a told him to turn off the heat portion of the test and run cold water to cool the system, I ran back to the end hanging over the SS tank to watch it fall off into the tank just as the cold water hit it.
He told me to remove the PVC and replace it with galvanized pipe. I didn't see him anymore, even on the next test. Didn't ask where he was, he was probably being ribbed too much by the other engineers to come back in there.
 
Although retired, I maintain my registration as a mechanical engineer in both Idaho and California. This means I'm legally licensed by two western states to wear khakis and button-down shirts, carry an unbelievably large assortment of surgically-sharp pencils and multi-colored pens, and tell long, convoluted (but incredibly funny) jokes. To wit:

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume. The mathematician, after considerable thought, measured the ball's diameter, evaluated a triple integral, gave it a level of confidence factor and arrived at the ball's volume (plus or minus). The physicist thought there was an easier way: he filled a calibrated beaker with water, submerged the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement. But the engineer had them all beat - he examined the red rubber ball and looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball physical properties handbook.

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, I prefer both. "Both?" asked the architect and artist in unison. "Yes," replied the engineer. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.

Now, having gotten this far, some of you may be wondering if the engineering field might be open to you. To assess whether you might have what it takes to be an engineer, I offer the following short assessment questionnaire:

You may qualify to be an engineer if:

1. You have a Dilbert cartoon displayed anywhere in your work area.
2. The only jokes you receive are in an email.
3. Your wrist watch has more computing power than an IBM 360-60.
4. Your idea of good interpersonal communications means getting the decimal point in the right place.
5. You use CAD to design a saw horse.
6. You window shop at Radio Shack.
7. You know the direction the water swirls when the bathtub drains.
8. You own more than one white short-sleeved dress shirt.
9. You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
10. If you still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
11. You need a checklist to operate the VCR/DVD player.
12. You can remember 7 different passwords but not your anniversary.
13. You can keyboard 70 words per minute but can’t read your own handwriting.
14. People groan at a party when you pick out the music.
15. People groan at a party when you dance.
16. People groan at a party when you tell a joke.
17. You have more friends on the internet than in real life.
18. You think people around you yawn because they didn’t get enough sleep.
19. You know what http:/ stands for.
20. You have a neatly sorted and labeled collection of nuts and bolts in your garage.

And for those of you who didn't make the engineering cut (so to speak) - eat your heart out...
 
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Getting back to slide rules, I remember the sometimes not too friendly competition between the owners of the Fence POSTS, the KEUFFEL & ERRORS, and my lone EE style rickety PICKETT. The metal Pickett had a real advantage in the humid air of Cincinnati, as I only adjusted it maybe once a year, where those with the bamboo wonders were at it once a week or more. Swell and shrink, swell and shrink......................

The Pickett also had four more scales on it, as it had been designed for EE users, which drove the other ChE's mad in Log-Log tests.

Fun times, but now over 50 years ago !!!!
 
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