The oil grooves are too deep, but that is not fatal. See Kohnke's pics for how they should be done.
I wonder about the little missing chips in the lower pic if that is not the start of a crack/separation, but maybe not.
The shims are between the rod and cap in Kohnke's pics. They are shown in the lower left corner of his last pic.
New rods, whether from a catalog, or anywhere else, have to fit the crankshaft. You need to measure the journals, and get rods that fit. Clearance is .015". Since you have already talked to a babbitt guy, I would show him your rods and talk to him some more.
How do the mains look?