I'm back, so this calls for a joke...

[BILL WILLIAMSON]

Mr, Tube,
Have you lost your sense of humor? Send us a classic one that you think is funny.

 

[MrTube]

Mr, Tube,
Have you lost your sense of humor? Send us a classic one that you think is funny.

of course not, I thought all were funny except the true story. There was just something about that one that rubbed me the wrong way.

But since you asked! Heres my all time favorite. Its long, but worth it IMO.

--

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. Unfortunately my shirt got caught on the fridge and it pulled me over with it!


"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in. The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story. "It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death. The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."

 

[desotoguy]

Two southern gentlemen, well ok "rednecks" setting in a bar consuming adult beverages, and talking bass fishing and deer hunting. Well the conversation had gotten a little slow when Billy Joe looks at Bubba and says. I read the other day that ELK have sex 5 to 7 times a week.
Bubba with wide eyes looks up an says, Darn wouldn't you know it, I just joined the MOOSE club.